Six Ways to Foster Relationship with The Seniors in Your Life
A study on Adult Development from Harvard has proven that when it comes to our well-being as humans: relationships are key, especially as we get older. Relationships aren’t meant to just be maintained with and amongst our peers, but across generations; with people who have come before and after us. Intergenerational connection and relationship is important when it comes to the health of each generation and each individual. Research shows that both groups: young and old benefit from relationships that thrive in the context of age and generational differences. At EPAGA, we too recognize the importance of intergenerational connection in our own lives, and in the lives of our clients. Additionally, we know that community and connection is important to the heart of God, and strive to hold ourselves to His standard. Here are some ways that you can create meaningful connections with the older adults in your life, especially during the holiday season.
1 | ASK TO HEAR THEIR STORIES.
One of the truest things about humanity is this: we love talking about ourselves. Whoever the senior is in your life, there is undoubtedly a multitude of stories they have to share with you. Intentionally asking someone to tell you their story shows that you care for them, that you see them, and that the narrative of their life is important to you. Start with prompts / questions like:
Tell me about your childhood.
What is a favorite memory from your childhood?
What event shaped you the most in your twenties?
Do you remember the first movie you ever saw in a theater?
What was your favorite place that you’ve ever lived?
What makes you feel most alive?
2 | INQUIRE ABOUT THEIR MUSIC PREFERENCES
Ask them what they listened to when they were young, or show them a list of music genres/bands that were popular when they would have been teenagers and young adults. The power of music is insurmountable, and even an individual struggling with extreme forms of dementia or Alzheimer’s can be touched by music; as it is often the vehicle that carries them back to their memories. You might even consider creating a playlist of their favorites, and putting it on shuffle when you spend time together.
3 | START A NEW OR OLD HOBBY WITH THEM
The human brain never stops storing information, and always has room for more. Starting a new hobby or reviving an old one with the older adult in your life can create space to deepen the relationship between the two of you. Whether it’s taking time to plant a garden this next spring, picking up some adult coloring books (found at any place like Target or Walmart), or mastering a recipe together, meaningful time spent together will inevitably create meaningful connection.
4 | PLAN INTENTIONAL MEALTIMES
It’s easy to forget the simple power that a meal can hold, especially with the distractions of our screens. Taking the time to set aside a meal time that’s purposed towards conversation and active listening can make a huge difference in both of your lives, and be a great starting point for meaningful conversation.
5 | PHONE CALLS + LETTERS
We live in an age of isolation, and a phone call or a handwritten letter goes a long way for the Senior in your life. Letters can be hung in living spaces to be read again and again, and consistent phone calls can change the tone and perspective of someone’s entire day.
6 | ASK FOR GENUINE ADVICE
We are quick to forget that the seniors in our lives are often wellsprings of wisdom, and we’re better for it when we take the time to ask them questions. Most often, the lives that they have lived are brimming with heartfelt anecdotes and important lessons that they’ve experienced and learned along the way. In the fast-paced, ever-evolving world that we live in, we also forget that great wisdom and advice rarely has an expiration date. You won’t regret asking the seniors in your circle for their advice, and it will strengthen your relationships with them. Start by asking questions like:
If you could give a younger you one piece of advice, what would it be?
What financial insight would you give to your younger self?
What is something you would tell someone just starting out in your career?
Who was once a mentor to you? What did they teach you?
What advice would you give to me in regard to relationships? About friendship? About marriage?
